Bringing up children without the support of father is a very challenging situation for a mother. Naturally, husband and wife take care of children together but at times when a woman has to do it alone, it can be very stressful for her. To do all at once, managing the responsibilities of household, taking care of children and earning for livelihood, is not a very easy job.
In this scenario, a woman may panic and lose strength to accomplish her responsibilities. Here, it should be kept in mind that taking stress never helps to go through a difficult time but a little effort does!
Let’s have a look at the steps which can be taken to raise a happy and healthy child as a single mother.
● Give child quality time
It has been observed that usually single mothers start giving more attention to their work due to which their children feel ignored. It is very essential for a mother to spend quality time with her children.She should set aside some time every day to talk, play or just sit with the child.The best time to know about the child’s activities is when a mother drops him/her school.During that time, she can talk to them about good manners like she may recite few verses from Quran and tell them its meaning,she might ask them about activities at school like ask about exams, tests or any other extracurricular activity which he/she might be worried about.This will help the child to know that mother cares and is not busy enough to forget him/her.It increases child’s confidence and efficiency level throughout the day at school.
Spending time with the child let a mother know about his/her psychological condition and helps her to take necessary steps for his/ her mental and physical betterment.On the other hand, it boosts the confidence and trust of a child on mother and enables him/her to share his problems with her which is really necessary for good upbringing.It is very important that a child trusts his/her mother fully in the absence of father.
Besides that, a mother should never neglect the important meetings with the teachers or instructors of the child.
If she needs assistance in child care, she should always look for a qualified caregiver who can take care of the child in a safe environment. A mother should always work with the caregiver in the child’s life to ensure she is providing consistent discipline. She should teach him/her the manners required for living a good life.A child should know how to respect, love and care. A mother should also make sure that the child is eating healthy food.His/her day should start with a healthy breakfast.
● Be truthful to your child
Many a times, mothers do not communicate with their children about the real financial or emotional situations and try to bear all the pressure themselves. This is not an appropriate action. A child must know that his/her mother is going through a difficult time, at the same time she should tell her child that things will get better.
A mother should always know when to say “yes” and when is the time to say “no” to a child. Feeling guilty of being single makes mothers to get emotionally blackmailed very easily by children.But at the same time, it is very important to know how to say “No” to the child. Always use a nicer way, never scold or use abusive language.
● Take time out for yourself
Keeping oneself busy in work and house can be really tiring. It is very important for a mother to add some physical activity in routine, eat a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep.Sometimes, even reading good literature can be a mood elevator. A mother needs to keep her mood and attitude up because it directly affects her child’s mood.
● Stay Positive
Staying positive can be extremely hard but it is the most effective way to get through a bad time. Negative thoughts may restrain a single mother to utilize her all abilities to combat the situation at her best. In that case, every effort should be made to see things positively and act accordingly.This is important to maintain a balanced environment at home.
Moreover, a single mother should always try to create a positive image of the opposite gender because due to separation or divorce, a child may think that all men are bad and leave their families. To create a better image in child’s mind, she may address accomplishments or positive characteristics of members of the opposite gender in family, community or even in media.
In case of sharing child custody,it is essential to make sure it is a healthy environment where the child is going.It is necessary for the psychological health of the child.
Conclusively, being a single parent can be a challenging experience. By showing love and respect, talking honestly and staying positive, she can lessen the stress of single parenting and help her child to live a better life.